most my geld, 2014

vaz- visiting hours
vaz- chartreuse bull 93/150 aussie edition
lumbar- first and last days.... orange/white
big business- battlefields forever green/gold messy vinyl.
vaz- dying to meet you, x mist test press.
melvins- i told you i was crazy, krampus edition.
melvins- i told you i was crazy 313 mail order version.
melvins - tribute to roxy music red white splatter
melvins/fantomas, sugar daddy split.
plainfield - meat and da folks test press
plainfield /melvins split test press gold wax
henry blacker- hungry dogs.....
shit and shite - jream baby jream, green wax
altamont - mrs creech test press

 cherubs- carjack fairey red wax 768/1000
swans love of life box edition
die nerven - fun red/black wax
big black- bulldozer remastered edition
melvins- i told you i was crazy red burst edition
melvins - with yo heart, black wax, white ss label
melvins /steel pole split, baby blue wax

 melvins /nirvana split, grey wax
melvins -lysol, no print on cover
die nerven fun, art edition, 50 red black wax
king buzzo 10" volume one, tri colour
towers II
prizehog- reunvent the whool
melvins / fantomas sugar daddy cover variant
king buzzo 10" volume one splatter wax
liars - mess, limited edition vacuumed cover with string
melvins- roxy tribute tri colour
melvins - pop o pies tri colour
melvins - billy fish flexi test press.

 liars - mess standard lp
hammerhead - duh green art edition 34/50
qui- life water living, grey wax
nirvana melvins split- purple/pink/lilac
nirvana melvins split- blue with dark red bits
nation of ulysses - 13 point program remaster
melvins- the end, test press
ministry- filth pig
helios creed- abducted blue wax

 quint - blueprint
thrones- wage war clear wax
space streakings- sexual aestetic
hammerhead - load king grey wax
clusterfuck 94 comp red wax
melvins /jon spencer split art edition
melvins - bull and bees orange cover 262/500
melt banana- snake song 5"
lightning bolt- oblivion hunter, spray painted cover
pere ubu- modern dance
wipers- land of the lost
fred frith- gravity
power take off- this is late, clear wax
hew time- black/gold edition
melvins- gay lord test press 5/5
melvins - venom test press 4/5
melvins - queen test press 2/5
melvins - scientists test press 3/5
melvins - kinks test press
gay witch abortion - snake across the eyes usa cunt love version.
melvins- tribute to queen splatter wax
melvins- tribute to bowie splatter wax
off- learn to obey
katastrophy wife- all kneel blue/green wax
residents - residue, 2xlp reissue
residents santa dog 2x7 reissue replica version.
hew time- gold wax
mark d- brief sensuality test press 10/11
mark d - brief ..... black lp, purple 7" offset 258
mark d - brief...... purple lp+7" 105 hand screened edition
dead rider- chills on glass
disasteratti- cerebral hack artist
animal lover- guilt, green/black swirl
melvins/buzzo, sugar daddy
melvins/1983 sugar daddy

 held hostage comp volume 2 red/black wax
swans - to be kind
melvins - with yo heart purple wax
no anchor 10" amrep tri colour no8
king buzzo 10" vol 2 splatter
king buzzo 10" vol3 splatter
cutthroats 9- dissent
cherubs- carjack fairey clear wax 83/1000
godflesh- decline and fall
king buzzo 10" vol 2 tri colour
king buzzo 10" vol 3 tri colour
no anchor 10" aussie edition 94/200
melvins totimoshi- time art edition 5/40
melvins - tribute to queen tri colour
melvins tribute to bowie tri colour
residents - codgers on the moon
celan- halo, yellow/gold wax
music blues- things havent gone well, pooh brown wax
hepa titus- gettin it on
cows- stunning cunts demos
melvins/hepa titus how chow now dead cow
dale crover- united fruit
altamont box set pic disc edition 75
mark d - mini skirt green wax
hammerhead- ressurrecto post mordern ejaculation 1/10
even worse than expected comp 2x12 test press 7/10
even worse than expected comp 2x10" green cover
dwarves invented rock n roll gold wax
king buzzo - this machine kills artists

melvins - night goat red white wax a/b edition
earth - primitive and deadly
melvins bride of crankenstein mail order grey/red/black wax
melvins bride of crankenstein- red silver haze glow in dark sleeve edition
anarchistwood - blessed are the cracked
godflesh- a world lit only by fire
melvins - hold it in
shellac- dude incredible

times i should have stayed at home 2014

25/01/2014 oxford wheatsheaf- gemma moss, molotov sexbomb definately glad i didnt stay at home this night.

01/02/2014 london electrowerkz - terminal cheesecake, gum takes tooth i remember something about terminal cheesecake being super lame live, maybe some light up gloves or something.

12/02/2014 london ace hotel basement- henry blacker, hag, shabash. probly the coolest thing to ever happen in this posh london hotel basement.

15/02/2014 london cafe oto- jandek , plus some support act with a name so shit it cannot be written down with normal letters.some people actually believe jandek is good, like the person who paid £30 for one of his shitty lps from me on ebay shortly after this gig when i decided i would never need to own this shite. 
support act are smart enough to have a name that no one can remember or even type so therefore giving them a bad review is impossible.

12/03/2014 london st johns hackney - michael gira, william basinski. gira should start doing this stuff at open mic nights just for teh lulzzzzz.

22/03/14 - oxford wheatsheaf - gemma moss, headcount. some weird looking french guy eats his own shit on stage and finds out the hard way that no amount of mouthwash will take away the smell or the taste. 

27/05/2014 birmingham rainbow- melt banana, glatze glatze obviously fears himself as pretty, so does everything he can to make himself retarded looking to all mankind.

28/05/2014 bristol trinity - swans. there are millions and millions of starzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in your eyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

21/06/2014 london electrowerkz. - chrome. should have stayed at home.

03/06/2014 oxford cellar- wonk unit, down and outs.  yeh im a plasterer, i plaster, but i dont sing this song tonight just cus i want to annoy david.

26/07/2014 vinyl depford- rude mechanicals. depford would be a better place if the fast food places didnt lie about the spiceyness of their chicken burgers.

08/08/2014 oxford o2, - nofx didnt play "august 8th", WTF??????

21/09/2014, bristol exchange- king buzzo forgot his electric guitar and drummer and harshly hit an acoustic guitar as if it was strung with super slinkys.!!!!!!

04/10/2014, oxford jericho,- rabbit foot spazz band. i once saw someone play an electrical guitar co guitar on this stage, not tonight sadly.

19/11/2014 ,. london koko - einsturzende neu bauten.  no one in the venue enjoyed this because everybody spent the entire night trying to find somewhere to stand .

22/11/2014 london the others- kuroneko, muscle bra, flesh happening, anarchistwood some  guy got his bum out and jumped bum first into audience member , who nearly falls over and spills drink.

27/11/2014 oxford corridor- bandits, rail 27 the most surreal night in oxford and no one was there to view it.

07/12/2014  oxford o2 - alabama 3 synth player looks as happy to be there as i am.

12/12/2014 oxford wheatsheaf - non stop tango, volkenfunk volkenFUCK. einz , zwei, SEX,

16/12/2014, london cafe oto- j g thirlwells "cholera nocebo" autobahn.

19/12/2014 oxford o2 - rabbit foot spazz band to much use of the eff word for my liking.

fixing another dod grunge.

Fixing the nastiest distortion pedal around out by removing it's super lame name

                                            ROOTS

                      BLOODY

                                      ROOTS!!!!!!!

i enjoyed superchunk at atp this much.

i knew i should have waited till the last day of the year before posting the end of year vinyl list

look what came in todays post, just in time to be my last record for 2013.

i should've stayed at home.

10/01/13 -london cafe oto - skullflower +hal hutchinson was i the only one not annoyed that they only played for 30 minutes, this was great.

28/02/12 -london electrowerkz- ice age queens of the ice age.

13/03/13 - london hammersmith apollo - my bloody valentine + le volume courbe horrible big venue

15/03/13 -london  corsica studios- onedia +vision fortune my least favourite small london venue due to being south of the river and shit for parking. i actually shat myself and thought my car had been stolen this night, turns out i was on the wrong level of a multi storey car park, thankfully i had clean pants in the car.

19/03/13- london garage- the men one member of this band is the man.

21/03/13-london  cafe oto- cut hands + dalhous i made conversation with a stranger at this show

24/03/13 - oxford wheatsheaf - honky +desert storm + mother corona  not only are desert storm my least favourite band in oxfordshire, they are my least favourite band of all bands EVER, total bullshit. i dont like honky either, but at least honky came on and did the dessert storm thing 10 times better and with a bit more humour. proof being a butthole surfer doesnt make everything you touch gold.

18/03/13 -oxford  zodiac- the stranglers nothing but hits bitch nothing but hits

02/04/13 - brighton concorde - swans if you havent seen swans you are a fucking idiot.

18/04/13 - oxford zodiac- efterklang my second favourite danish band, right after junior senior.

19/04/13 - bristol thekla- pere ubu + variety lights i love pere ubu live, but what i dont love is tribute acts to the headline act, im talking to you variety lights

19/04/13 -bristol  the croft- big naturals  bass in yer face

20/04/13 - london o2 islington - kmfdm + sheep on drugs + explode the tv i looked everywhere and didnt see a single sheep.

22/04/13 - bristol exchange - melvins lite + big business blah blah blah

03/05/13- amsterdam bitterzoet- girls against boys lesson one kill the bass player

04/05/13 - utrecht ekko - girls against boys + new bleeders lesson two, kill the other bass player.

05/05/13- amsterdam paradiso - no spill blood + fang island some bassist that looks like that guy from karp

18/05/13 - london barbican- the residents iz everybody ready for the picnic in the jungle.

19/05/13 - london brixton electric- melvins blah

20/05/13 - london brixton electric - melvins bouncer violence f.t.w

21/05/13 - bristol exchange- melvins  my rectum got ruptured this night, and not at the show.

23/05/13- london dingwalls- come + slowgun + former utopia 2 shitty support bands

01/06/13 - oxford wheatsheaf- caravan of whores+ moghul +iron hearse 3 shitty support bands

08/06/13- london forum- mudhoney +metz +meat puppets  met a girl with the same beavis and butthead tattoos as me, proud to be different and all that shit yeh.

09/06/13- oxford zodiac- PIL + the wonder stuff i work with a girl the size of a cow.

16/06/13- london scala- pere ubu +uhuhboo project i  met some dodgy guy from Coventry in the queue who only came to this show cus he was trying to pick up Korean fanny

19/06/13 london forum- the breeders metal mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn

22/06/13 - london brixton acadamy -die fokken antwoord +zebra katz my zef clothes got fokken soaked

27/06/13 - reading sub89 - dinosaur jr+ the arteries i remember not liking the arteries and having trouble parking the car.

05/07/13- london electric ballroom- pissed jeans  lets have some violence

08/07/13- london underworld- trash talk + asteroid boys lets have some more violence

11/07/13- london scala- nazoranai +flower/corsano duo.  lets have some really boring guy from sunnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ruin another band.

12/07/13 - london barbican- john zorns 60th birthday hip hip

27/07/13 - london peckham bold tendencies - glenn branca "twisting in space" my car was literally parked inside the venue., the venue was a car park. we have a winner.

27/08/13 - amsterdam paradiso- tomahawk.  another band ruined by mike patton

13/09/13 - amsterdam paradiso - white hills i prefer purple pills

14/09/13 - utrecht tivoli de helling- jesu + dirk serries microphonics holland only has 44 people with taste in music. FACT.

20/09/13- bristol exchange- black pus + dan friel + the hysterical injury one man bands rule i tell ye.

27/09/13 - london lso st lukes - lustmord + piano hooligan.  one man bands suck i tell ye

07/10/13- london garage- man or astroman + the octopus project  always a bit disappointing when the support band ends up being half the headline act.

09/10/13- oxford jericho- comanechi+ female smell + agness pike female smell would have been amazing if they didnt have some douche nozzle david yow impersonator for a frontman. i told them this. hopefully they take my constructive criticism seriously.

11/10/13- oxford jericho- no age no interest

12/10/13- london tufnell park dome- doa +sick on the bus turns out upon arrival in tufnell park i had gone through some sort of time machine and dumbass punks from 1977 were everywhere.

12/10/13- london corsica- prurient more punk than tufnell park??

02/11/13- germany slowboy record shop- die nerven + a newborn riot of dreams some american in germany trying to sell over priced records with controversial artwork. 

04/11/13- amsterdam heineken music hall- nick cave and the bad seeds + shilpa ray the best part of this gig was when the support act shilpa ray  came back on stage to sing the female vocal parts of henry lee. oh wait, thats what would have been the highlight if they had  done that.

20/11/13- oxford wheatsheaf- honky + prosperina my favourite band ever "desert storm" were also on this line up but unfortunately i missed all of their set. but not to worry, honky invited the desert storm guys back on stage to perform with them for what had to be hands down the most cringy moment since records began.
snort that whiskey fuckerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

24/11/13- amsterdam winston- jarboe if jarboe was in a window in amsterdam, would i fuck her??

25/11/13- london netil house- porn + wolf eyes + follakzoid oh my god, this wolf eyes band are like so outrageous, can somebody please explain them to me.like, is this irony man, or are these guys really moronic

29/11/13- atp camber sands- eaux+ fuck buttons + shellac+ slint cus we 

30/11/13- atp camber sands- dismemberment plan + fennesz+ the pop group
                                              loop+ kandodo+ the kvb+ 23 skidoo + comets on fire are never ever ever

01/12/13- atp camber sands- michael rother+ superchunk+ goat+ mogwai+ josef van wissem
                                              mick turner + girls against boys + braids + ty segall getting back together


15/12/13- london islingon o2 - young gods + die kur + inertia.  inertia are proof that two men having anal sex with each other ISN'T the gayest thing in the world.

NEXT YEAR, IM STAYING IN.