Monday, 30 December 2013

don't cha wish your girlfriend had a cock like me.


i should've stayed at home.

10/01/13 -london cafe oto - skullflower +hal hutchinson was i the only one not annoyed that they only played for 30 minutes, this was great.

28/02/12 -london electrowerkz- ice age queens of the ice age.

13/03/13 - london hammersmith apollo - my bloody valentine + le volume courbe horrible big venue

15/03/13 -london  corsica studios- onedia +vision fortune my least favourite small london venue due to being south of the river and shit for parking. i actually shat myself and thought my car had been stolen this night, turns out i was on the wrong level of a multi storey car park, thankfully i had clean pants in the car.

19/03/13- london garage- the men one member of this band is the man.

21/03/13-london  cafe oto- cut hands + dalhous i made conversation with a stranger at this show

24/03/13 - oxford wheatsheaf - honky +desert storm + mother corona  not only are desert storm my least favourite band in oxfordshire, they are my least favourite band of all bands EVER, total bullshit. i dont like honky either, but at least honky came on and did the dessert storm thing 10 times better and with a bit more humour. proof being a butthole surfer doesnt make everything you touch gold.

18/03/13 -oxford  zodiac- the stranglers nothing but hits bitch nothing but hits

02/04/13 - brighton concorde - swans if you havent seen swans you are a fucking idiot.

18/04/13 - oxford zodiac- efterklang my second favourite danish band, right after junior senior.

19/04/13 - bristol thekla- pere ubu + variety lights i love pere ubu live, but what i dont love is tribute acts to the headline act, im talking to you variety lights

19/04/13 -bristol  the croft- big naturals  bass in yer face

20/04/13 - london o2 islington - kmfdm + sheep on drugs + explode the tv i looked everywhere and didnt see a single sheep.

22/04/13 - bristol exchange - melvins lite + big business blah blah blah

03/05/13- amsterdam bitterzoet- girls against boys lesson one kill the bass player

04/05/13 - utrecht ekko - girls against boys + new bleeders lesson two, kill the other bass player.

05/05/13- amsterdam paradiso - no spill blood + fang island some bassist that looks like that guy from karp

18/05/13 - london barbican- the residents iz everybody ready for the picnic in the jungle.

19/05/13 - london brixton electric- melvins blah

20/05/13 - london brixton electric - melvins bouncer violence f.t.w

21/05/13 - bristol exchange- melvins  my rectum got ruptured this night, and not at the show.

23/05/13- london dingwalls- come + slowgun + former utopia 2 shitty support bands

01/06/13 - oxford wheatsheaf- caravan of whores+ moghul +iron hearse 3 shitty support bands

08/06/13- london forum- mudhoney +metz +meat puppets  met a girl with the same beavis and butthead tattoos as me, proud to be different and all that shit yeh.

09/06/13- oxford zodiac- PIL + the wonder stuff i work with a girl the size of a cow.

16/06/13- london scala- pere ubu +uhuhboo project i  met some dodgy guy from Coventry in the queue who only came to this show cus he was trying to pick up Korean fanny

19/06/13 london forum- the breeders metal mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn

22/06/13 - london brixton acadamy -die fokken antwoord +zebra katz my zef clothes got fokken soaked

27/06/13 - reading sub89 - dinosaur jr+ the arteries i remember not liking the arteries and having trouble parking the car.

05/07/13- london electric ballroom- pissed jeans  lets have some violence

08/07/13- london underworld- trash talk + asteroid boys lets have some more violence

11/07/13- london scala- nazoranai +flower/corsano duo.  lets have some really boring guy from sunnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ruin another band.

12/07/13 - london barbican- john zorns 60th birthday hip hip

27/07/13 - london peckham bold tendencies - glenn branca "twisting in space" my car was literally parked inside the venue., the venue was a car park. we have a winner.

27/08/13 - amsterdam paradiso- tomahawk.  another band ruined by mike patton

13/09/13 - amsterdam paradiso - white hills i prefer purple pills

14/09/13 - utrecht tivoli de helling- jesu + dirk serries microphonics holland only has 44 people with taste in music. FACT.

20/09/13- bristol exchange- black pus + dan friel + the hysterical injury one man bands rule i tell ye.

27/09/13 - london lso st lukes - lustmord + piano hooligan.  one man bands suck i tell ye

07/10/13- london garage- man or astroman + the octopus project  always a bit disappointing when the support band ends up being half the headline act.

09/10/13- oxford jericho- comanechi+ female smell + agness pike female smell would have been amazing if they didnt have some douche nozzle david yow impersonator for a frontman. i told them this. hopefully they take my constructive criticism seriously.

11/10/13- oxford jericho- no age no interest

12/10/13- london tufnell park dome- doa +sick on the bus turns out upon arrival in tufnell park i had gone through some sort of time machine and dumbass punks from 1977 were everywhere.

12/10/13- london corsica- prurient more punk than tufnell park??

02/11/13- germany slowboy record shop- die nerven + a newborn riot of dreams some american in germany trying to sell over priced records with controversial artwork. 

04/11/13- amsterdam heineken music hall- nick cave and the bad seeds + shilpa ray the best part of this gig was when the support act shilpa ray  came back on stage to sing the female vocal parts of henry lee. oh wait, thats what would have been the highlight if they had  done that.

20/11/13- oxford wheatsheaf- honky + prosperina my favourite band ever "desert storm" were also on this line up but unfortunately i missed all of their set. but not to worry, honky invited the desert storm guys back on stage to perform with them for what had to be hands down the most cringy moment since records began.
snort that whiskey fuckerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

24/11/13- amsterdam winston- jarboe if jarboe was in a window in amsterdam, would i fuck her??

25/11/13- london netil house- porn + wolf eyes + follakzoid oh my god, this wolf eyes band are like so outrageous, can somebody please explain them to me.like, is this irony man, or are these guys really moronic

29/11/13- atp camber sands- eaux+ fuck buttons + shellac+ slint cus we 

30/11/13- atp camber sands- dismemberment plan + fennesz+ the pop group
                                              loop+ kandodo+ the kvb+ 23 skidoo + comets on fire are never ever ever

01/12/13- atp camber sands- michael rother+ superchunk+ goat+ mogwai+ josef van wissem
                                              mick turner + girls against boys + braids + ty segall getting back together


15/12/13- london islingon o2 - young gods + die kur + inertia.  inertia are proof that two men having anal sex with each other ISN'T the gayest thing in the world.








NEXT YEAR, IM STAYING IN.



                 

Q:what comes first

if you type trans into your search bar
http://translate.google.com/

or

http://xhamster.com/channels/new-shemales-1.html

A: google translate because they always put themselves first. 




alle meine Vinyl-Schallplatten 2013


 melvins-pigskin test press
melvins-oven black wax test press
melvins/cosmic psychos split, signed.
dwarves/hip priests split- yellow wax
hewhocannotbenamed- humaniterrorist -red wax
melvins 1983 10"- 5th cover variant
melvins /redd kross 12" chicken rear sleeve 252/300 silver smileys
unsane- vandal x 7" yellow wax
melvins -night goat 7" orange wax
killdozer ft hazelmeyer 7" gold wax
helmet -born annoying 7"
joyful noise 2013 flexi series with box


melvins/nirvana split 7" yellow wax
melvins/nirvana split 7" light blue wax
tad- live alien broadcast -red wax
brainiac -smack bunny baby promo 7"
tomahawk- oddfellows
janitor joe - h'mong today 7"
melvins/mudhoney -sugar daddy split
melvins/fucked up - sugar daddy split
hepa/titus - follow me, red/black wax amrep edition 192/200 xxy rear cover
melvins/redd kross split 12"- chicken rear cover, no silver faces.
gibby gaynes- pauls not home 7"
cherubs- carjack 7"- 505/1000 white wax
cherubs- dreamin 7"
halo of flies- no time 7" 687/800

melvins/jsbx-black betty 7" art edition
pissed jeans -honeys orange wax
pissed jeans -throbbing organ 7" (subpop version came with honeys)
neurosis-honor found in decay yellow/gold wax
melvins with yo heart 7" purple wax
melvins- bull and bees 10" pink wax, red cover, big bull on back 163/500
melt banana- scratch or stitch
melvins- gluey porch test press
melvins- your blessened flexi, 3rd press red wax red cover
melvins/redd kross 12" red white burst edition,postcard on rear 17/50
hepa/titus follow me, kevin art variants, 6/100  36/100  53/100  67/100
daddy longhead- cheatos

melvins/midwest hardcore sugar daddy clear wax
melvins with yo heart 7" black wax, ss label. black/yellow label
tad-pale corkscrew 7" pink wax
ooioo- armonico heva
tomahawk- stone letter 7"
black pus- all my relations
mudhoney- vanishing point, clear wax
dope guns and fucking vol 1, red wax
shellac/caesar split 7" with comic
come- gently down the stream

pere ubu- lady from shanghai, defaced/signed by david thomas at bristol show
seawhores- the hunt is on side b. all 13 variants over the course of the year
hey colossus- hates you
alice donut- ten glorious animals
residents- coochie brake
kilslug- answer the call
held hostage- learning curve comp red wax
melvins-tora tora tora 4x7" test press
melvins trilogy 3xlp test press black wax
man or astroman analog series vol 3 7" clear wax
skinny puppy- rabies

melvins/hammerhead pic 7" chris mars doodled sleeve edition.
cause and effect triple 7" grey/clear wax
seawhores- hunt is on side a. design 1. 20/20
melvins/hammerhead pic 7" camille rose garcia signed artist edition 7/50
melvins/isis split 12" clear pink wax
melvins/isis split 12" white wax
public image s/t 7" with newspaper
public image -memories 7"
asva- empires should burn
david yow- tonight you look like a spider 54/450
david yow-tonight you look like a spider cement block edition 11/50

man or astroman defcon 5,4,3,2,1 clear wax
hammerhead- ressurrecto -group grope art 9/10
melvins- prick test press
melvins/isis split 12" marbled pink wax
big biz- mind the drift "rejected?" test press
big naturals s/t lp
caspar brotzmann massaker- koks ofen
melvins-gaylord 7" mail order version
melvins- set it on fire mail order version
melvins- warhead mail order version
amrep bash 13 comp 10" mail order version
melvins-bullhead tupelo white label with press release
melvins/butthole surfers sugar daddy split clear wax


pissed jeans- king of jeans marbled vinyl weird grey/green??? colour
h.o.f- f.t.w 7" with cdr
amrep bash 13 show comp 10" show version
melvins/napalm death sugar daddy split
hepa/titus -dont half a cow 7" orange wax
hepa/titus - dont half a cow 7" red wax
melvins 1983- gaylord 7" show version

melvins- set it on fire 7" show version tri colour
melvins- warhead 7" show version tri colour
dumb numbers- s/t purple wax
pissed jeans - your life is worth 7"
pissed jeans -throbbing organ 7" (parts unknown version)
pissed jeans - shallow
mark d- value of decay test press 3/3

tile- sit and relax- rejected 7" 64/96
tile- you had a friend 107/392 marbled orange
p- michael stipe 7" piss yellow wax
techno animal- dead mans curse
godflesh - hymns orange wax
residents- kaw liga dance mix 12"
techno animal- brotherhood of the bomb
zu- carboniferous
the ex- enourmous door
fred frith- speechless

jah wobble- rising above bedlam
the residents- stranger than supper
pere ubu- song of the bailing man
glenn branca- the ascension
prizehog- thought nest
bad brains- rock for light
alice donut- untidy suicides.......
prizehog- a talking to
melvins- bull and bees 10" silver lettering/orange circles cover 416/500
black pus- zero ultimate beat off
melvins- live at 3rd man black wax

blind shake- key to a false door- yellow wax
pigface- empathy clear wax 7"
bludgeon 8" flexi red wax
melvins/mudhoney split 7" tattoo man cover
bull-tinbox 7"
dope guns and fucking vol 1 7" black wax
girls against boys- the ghost list
nick oliveri vs hewhocannotbenamed 7" red/black wax
pigs- gaffe 10" red wax
dwarves are younger and better looking
blag dahlia- metrosexual man 7" pink wax
melvins/jsbx black betty art edition 6/10
foetus- deaf with insert
hammerhead- ressurrecto- neanderthal monster 6/10
melvins live at 3rd man black/blue wax
mark deutrom - ruckus juice white wax
mark deutrom - ruckus juice test press 10/10
seawhores- vier bestrafungen test press 8/11
seawhores - vier bestrafungen green box 13/111
altamont- mrs creech 7" white wax 30/50 +original art
die nerven- fluidum

gay witch abortion- snakes behind the eyes boxset version
gay witch abortion- snakes behind the eyes 3/50
die nerven- nicht neus 7" art edition 3/50
die nerven - nicht neues 7" 13/200
melvins tribute to kinks 7" tri colour
melvins slap a ham 5" milky wax
prurient- through the window
prurient- bermuda drain- spoiled plaintain green wax
h.o.f gay witch sessions art edition number 44
tile- you had a friend.... 283/392 black cover/black wax
us maple- purple on time
melvins- pop o pies tribute 7" clear/red splatter
melvins tribute to kinks 7" red/black splatter
melvins helmet invasions 7" red/orange mail order version
girls against boys super fire 10"
lumbar- first and last days of unwelcome orange wax first press
melvins tribute to pop o pies 7" test press
melvins tribute to roxy music 7" test press
melvins /helmet split 7" test press
foetus of excellence box- no vinyl no shirt, just the box
melvins-lysol, with censored sticker, still sealed (now opened and chuked around)
die nerven/freiburg split 7" white wax
girls against boys- roxy 7" blue wax, signed by eli and scott at atp.
teenage larvae- im so lonesome 7" red wax


residents- kaw liga 7" pic disc
unsane - committed 7"
scumbait vol 2 comp 7"
unsane/hint split 7"
unsane - concrete bed 7"
tar- 1988-1995 2xlp clear wax
tar - 1988-1995 2xlp gold wax
bloodsport- i am the game
ut- griller
skin- shame ,humility,revenge
ut-confidential
b.a.l.l -bird
sister double happiness- uncut
feedtime- cooper s
laughing hyenas- hardtimes
us maple- acre thrills
laughing hyenas- come down to....
melvins gluey porch first press "mpo" matrix
melt banana- fetch
melvins/seawhores ticket, retardist flapless edition 8/8
die nerven- sommerzeit 7" 24/30
big biz- battlefields forever red marble signed
hof- resurrect a bad idea 54/75 outer bounds version
melvins/helmet split 7" aussie tour edition
us maple - the wanderer 12" purple wax
melvins with yo heart 7" white cover red wax
residents - mushroom


MY RECORD COLLECTION IS WORTH MORE THAN MY CAR.
.....IS YOURS ??????