Saturday, 3 October 2009

the time i did some mushrooms in dam.

so it was wednesday the 23rd september 2009, i had arrived in amsterdam at about ten this morning,
at about 9pm i decided i would try some mushrooms and this is what followed.
i went down a shop and brought a 15gram pot of psilocybe mexica (often called philosophers stones) and started eating them on my walk back to my hotel,
i ate about half the pack and then started watching some shit on mtv, like this program called fist of zen, check it out it is awful.
by ten pm i was starting to feel very good and relaxed and kind of a nice tingling feeling all over my body and movement felt strange but nice like just stretching out my arms and legs.
i spoke to ali on the phone and soon realised that stringing a sentence together was to much like hard work.
i felt good like this till about 11 but was getting really tired as i had been up since 3am.i wanted to sleep but couldnt.
jacob rang about this time and i remember not wanting to speak to anyone and the combination of this phone call and all the laughing people outside my hotel and the music at the bar and mopeds and my tv all started to freak me out,.
all of a sudden i switched of the tv and my light and i was just in bed in a silent dark room, except the noise from outside.
i wanted to sleep but my brain was to awake, i kept focusing in on different sounds.
its weird because i would listen to something and everything else would dissapear and then all of a sudden like waking up you hear everything again.
and then drift back again like a trance focused on just one sound.
also my body now felt really heavy and not so relaxed.
i was aware that i was probly gonna feel like this for about 2 and a half hours still
at some point i tried to eat some cake to bring me back abit,
all i remember is having one bite and not being able to swallow it, and spitting it into the bin, i also felt very dizzy when i sat up almost like a whitey dizziness.
at aboout 2 in the morning i started to feel like i was coming back round to normal and even stood up and had a piss which i had been putting of for about 4 hours.
i was still awake till about half 3 with my mind just thinking about it all/
i had been awake 24 hours which always makes me get abit edgy.
also apparently for your first trip you should do shrooms in a familier environment with an experienced user, not in some random hotel in a foreign country all on your own with no end of distacting noises right outside the window.
but fuck that, it all adds to the experience, i dont regret it one bit.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

revisiting the porn star list

not sure who would have to go but i cant believe my top ten list omitted
renee pornero.

Friday, 21 August 2009

the time i nearly lost an arm

so once upon a time i foolishly put my hand into a moving conveyor belt and got dragged in past the elbow.
as you can see in the pictures the belts go around a metal roller at the end, my arm was trapped between that metal roller and 4 of the belts , you wouldnt believe how tight that was, think virgin pussyx1000000
my pic of my arm doesnt do the injury justice, it was mainly swollen so without a pic with the other arm in shot it is hard to see the scale of this.
on the side of the belts you may see that big blue panel, well now there is an emergency stop fitted to this, if it was there when i had the accident i wouldnt have been dragged in past a finger tip, .
when the belt was finally stopped after me calling out for help i was trapped with the roller sat in the bend of my arm, with 4 belts pinning me two it, the only way to release me was to cut the belts, i think paul was actually holding a pair of scissors when he came to stop the belts so he was pretty quick to cut me free.
as a result of the supervisor being so insensitive i decided to file a no win no fee claim which after many months finally paid me.
this is what getting your arm trapped into a machine can buy you.
1.ichi the killer dvd £5
2.this is england dvd £5
3.parole officer dvd, antibodies dvd , 10 things i hate about you dvd £10
4.shameless dvd £4
5.hairspray dvd £4
6.dead mans cards dvd £3
7.heathers dvd £3
8.withnail and i dvd £3 (this was a present for somebody and also my most hated film)
9. 3 fatcaps series 2 blind box toys £18
10.3 dunny series 5 blind box toys £18
11.4 series 4 dunnys £21.60
12.texas chainsaw the begginning dvd, the dark dvd, secretary dvd £10 oil £26.99
14.petrol $40
15. underground ticket £4
16. petrol £50
17. residents hoody, t shirt, hat, cd and dogtag £105
18. torche /isis gig ticket
19. hoody and boxer shorts £18 from madhouse oxford.
20. scarf for my sister £4.89
21.3 dunnys series 5 and 2 fatcap series 2 £30
22, £15 cash present for nephew
23.neil hamburger ticket for soho theatre show £12.50
24.3 skullbuds, 3 smorking labbits series 3 £40.35
25.deathbot , 2 spider baby boom toys, £23.97
26.2 evil ape qees, 2 dunny series 5, pumkinator qee £28.45
27. underground ticket £4
28. petrol £40
29. witch "paralyzed" lp £12.99
30. tool parobol lp, sonic youth daydream nation lp, crass christ box 2lp £26. no more picture disc, zappa utopia, kraftwork radioactivity, iggy pop instinct and blah blah blah, sex pistols flogging, klaus flouride, rock n roll high school, crass 10 notes, bauhuas s/t , zappa waka, beefheart doc, ramones pleasant dreams and various other bits of shite £44
32. 5 smorkin labbits series 3 and toys r us dvd £32.70
33.5 baby spider boom toys £19.95
34.uma horvath set of 3 toys and aluminium bud £60.98
35. underground ticket £5.60
36. 2 doughnuts from greggs 80p
37. a monkey skull £30
38. parking the car in portobello road £6
39. petrol £37.35
40. nin downward spiral lp and snakefinger greener postures lp £34.98
41.merzbow 7", amrep comp 7" , dope guns and fucking 1-3 lp, nin with teeth lp, rev co beers steers and queers remix lp, ministry nature lp, foetus butterfly lp, alice cooper last temptation lp, swans love lp, swans new mind lp, jello biafra no more cocoons lp, £85
42. kathie olivas 2 faced hazel asia edition, £94.67
43. blind illusion lp £6.50
44. full set of doktor a mechtorian figures, £77.
45. umen lp, butthole surfers lp, foetus 7" pic disc, devils jukebox 7" box set £40.
46. a ticket to see electric 6,£12 this needed £1.54 of my hard earned cash aswell, as the left over of my claim wasnt quite enough,

so was it worth it
most of them things i regret buying and my arm hangs funny, .
if you are gonna get injured at work do something that isnt in any way considered to be your fault, also it helps if you break a bone .which i didnt.
if you want to know how much my claim payed out, add up the above list and then subtract the £1.54 extra i needed to buy that last item and there you have the figure i was rewarded for a shit load of pain.
best item on above list.
the monkey skull of course.

Thursday, 20 August 2009

thought id try out the upload video feature on here, this is a load of random clips and the music is old ernie "anal smile" , i forget where the name came from, it is the only oe song with a name though.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

the best lp sleeve winner is.....

it makes me laugh how these dont fetch as much on ebay as shellac the futurist yet these are rarer, the music on the vinyl is way better, not to mention that this comes in a metal case (galvanized steel if i am correct)
one day i might get a copy of the futurist but this always ranked higher on my "to buy" list. again this item is something i bid twice as much for and was amazed to win so cheap,
someone was listing one on ebay recently for £300 buy it now, if its still there go buy it, its a steel.get it!!

some melvins singles

spit it out, starve already x2, message saved x2, shit sandwich, live at slims 8 track and enterruption cassette (recently released on pink vinyl)

these are just some of the harder to find melvins items i have, i still need the sympton of the universe 7" though if anyone wants some of my money.
oh and that barbaraal magazine with a melvins single is still on my want list.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

travis bean 1348

just a quick snap of my guitar, check out for more info on what one of these is about.
i have it strung with beefies, does that make me your hero???

plainfield shirt and a melvins skateboard

some of my prized possesions, plainfield shirts took years of ebaying to turn up, then i got them for a few dollars, (im not trying to sound american , they came from america)
i have worn myra to work once.

the melvins skateboard, i couldnt believe it when this turned up on ebay, i had been waiting about 5 years for one to show, i believe this to be the first in all that time, but i might have missed one,
i got it for about $400 which was great considering i put a max bid of $900 on so couldnt complain about that, it had to be mine end of story.

melvins tin of meat turns up on ebay now and then, i think there is one on a buy it now for about 3 times what i paid. fuck that.

harvey milk

this is how anal i am

to those who dont know, the one on left is original on black vinyl limited to 500, the middle one is the first chunklet reissue limited to 500 also, made using the spare 500 sleeves from the first issue, so sleeve is identical, but reissue is on coloured vinyl,
and on the right is chunklets second reissue of it, on grey vinyl also limited to 500, some of this pressing are still available on
go get yours now.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

fork lift safety

this is the video they made me watch on my fork lift truck training last year, you would think they would have something a bit more up to date, not to mention the language barrier.

Friday, 3 April 2009

bizarre magazine

for anyone who reads the magazine is most likely well aware , it isnt nearly as good as it once was, but the worst news is yet to come,
chris nieratko is no longer writing for the magazine which is a fucking insult, his stories were one of the best things in the magazine, and the only part not to be missed,
the whole magazine just isnt what it used to be, its as if they ran out of actual bizarre stories and turned it into a magazine that focuses far to much on modern attention seekers and crappy fetishes that are only shocking in that it is shocking anyone is turned on by something so lame.
oh well vice is quite a good magazine.

revisions to porn star list

after much consideration i think i would replace dana vespoli with mika tan due in large part to the scene of them together in hellcats 10, its just side by side mika seems so much better, although dana would make a top 11 list , maybe.

Monday, 9 February 2009

custom munny

here is my first attempt at customising a munny i just did it with sharpies,

the hair is hand plucked from a rather painful place.


about a year ago i got an infection in my finger, i think it just got sore when i cut the nails and then it got aggrivated at work, anyway i ended up in hospital for about a week and signed off work for 3 weeks,
when i arrived at the hospital the
infection was moving up my arm and was already past the elbow, they immediately cut it all open, removing the nail and trying to drain all the shit out of it and they put me on intravenous antibiotics to try and kill any infection left in the arm, after about 4 days they realised this wasnt working and cut it all open again.

the pain was unreal for such a silly little thing, and 3 times a day i had to have the dressing changed which was a nightmare because it would be stuck to the open wound and would rip it open even more,

eventually it kind of healed although i still dont have a proper nail on the finger, also the last picture on here that looks like its not to bad is how the whole thing started out.

Monday, 2 February 2009

top 10 pornstars

i was thinking at work the other week about who would be my current favourites and how they have changed over the years, and so i thought i would start making lists so years later i can look back and see who still stays and who i stopped caring for,.
at the moment they would be in no order

1. vanessa lane
2. gauge
3. elizabeth lawrence
4. sierra sinn
5. holly wellin
6. sasha grey
7.daniella rush
8. cindy crawford
9. jayna oso
10. dana vespoli

first blog

i have made this just because i wanted to take owner ship of the oldernie url ,
i plan to use this space to moan about things and brag about records and toys,
i doubt anyone will read this as i wont tell them its here, but if you do feel free to comment.