Tuesday, 25 October 2016
Monday, 11 April 2016
Thursday, 14 January 2016
Wednesday, 23 December 2015
I should have stayed home 2015
24/01/15-modern art oxford- brickwork lizards / bethany weimers
dance with the devil to the beat of the grammer
30/01/15-wheatsheaf oxford - workin man noise unit/ grey hairs
this time last year something far more special happened here. (25/01/14)
14/02/15- the others stoke newington - lampost gullivers -unstoppable achievers -not right
not the first time ive ended up seeing an oxford music person in london, and wont be the last.
22/02/15 florence park community centre oxford -brickwork lizards
when gemma said we were gonna see tomahawk , i thought we were gonna see duane denison's band, unfortunately neither tom o'hawk of the b w lizards or duane denison were here this time.
28/02/15 vinyl depford - cos chapman
this was definitely good, but to long ago now for me to remember why.
07/03/15 -the vault waterloo- charlie tuesday gates "sing for your life"
the adverts for this made it sound way better than it was.
29/03/15 oxford playhouse -stewart lee
i remember a good joke about the swastika, and a lot of other stuff that will most likely be cut if this ever goes on tv.
24/04/15 - sly and the family drone / young conservative
as someone who considers himself a musician, my main problem with watching other bands is that i find myself bored, solution!!! let me join in, and this is what happens with sly and the family drone, most fun gig of the year for sure, i didnt look at the time once.
02/05/15 -the others stoke newington - gardyloo spew/ schaedogeddon /black crack
NIGHT BUS TO CROYDON
09/05/15 - electrowerkz islington- andi sex gang/ creeping terrors
i once had a blow job during a gig at this venue but that wasnt tonight.
10/05/15 - dingwalls camden- the dwarves/ autopsy boys/ generation graveyard
i remember some really really bad support band tonight, worst band of the year, it could have been autopsy boys or generation graveyard, i cant remember which, so AVOID BOTH or risk ear and eye rape.
20/05/15 - motion bristol - swans
ear rape of the best kind. anyone wearing ear plugs hier should just stay at home.
26/05/15 shep bush empire- babes in toyland/ pins
i felt sorry for every girl in this entire venue that could only dream of being as cool as kat bjelland.
27/06/15 - barbican london - boredoms
BORING
31/07/15 - the others stoke newington - the v-1's/deathsex bloodbath
NIGHTBUS TO COVENTRY
18/08/15 - 100 club london - pissed jeans/ ceremony
ceremony were trying waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy toooooooooooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13/09/15 - bristol exchange- melvins / big business
was gemma the only person in the whole venue who preferred big business ha.
30/10/15 - the others stoke newington- rude mechanicals/bad suburban nightmare/jane ruby/we are a communist
coolest looking drummer award goes to that guy whos name i forget from rude mechanicals
15/11/15 bullingdon oxford- brickwork lizards/ simon davies
FUCK NIGHTSHIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!
24/11/15 garage london- psychic tv.
they actually played this venue the previous night, if i was there i definitely wouldnt have come back for round 2.
AND SO NEXT YEAR , I'M STAYING IN.
dance with the devil to the beat of the grammer
30/01/15-wheatsheaf oxford - workin man noise unit/ grey hairs
this time last year something far more special happened here. (25/01/14)
14/02/15- the others stoke newington - lampost gullivers -unstoppable achievers -not right
not the first time ive ended up seeing an oxford music person in london, and wont be the last.
22/02/15 florence park community centre oxford -brickwork lizards
when gemma said we were gonna see tomahawk , i thought we were gonna see duane denison's band, unfortunately neither tom o'hawk of the b w lizards or duane denison were here this time.
28/02/15 vinyl depford - cos chapman
this was definitely good, but to long ago now for me to remember why.
07/03/15 -the vault waterloo- charlie tuesday gates "sing for your life"
the adverts for this made it sound way better than it was.
29/03/15 oxford playhouse -stewart lee
i remember a good joke about the swastika, and a lot of other stuff that will most likely be cut if this ever goes on tv.
24/04/15 - sly and the family drone / young conservative
as someone who considers himself a musician, my main problem with watching other bands is that i find myself bored, solution!!! let me join in, and this is what happens with sly and the family drone, most fun gig of the year for sure, i didnt look at the time once.
02/05/15 -the others stoke newington - gardyloo spew/ schaedogeddon /black crack
NIGHT BUS TO CROYDON
09/05/15 - electrowerkz islington- andi sex gang/ creeping terrors
i once had a blow job during a gig at this venue but that wasnt tonight.
10/05/15 - dingwalls camden- the dwarves/ autopsy boys/ generation graveyard
i remember some really really bad support band tonight, worst band of the year, it could have been autopsy boys or generation graveyard, i cant remember which, so AVOID BOTH or risk ear and eye rape.
20/05/15 - motion bristol - swans
ear rape of the best kind. anyone wearing ear plugs hier should just stay at home.
26/05/15 shep bush empire- babes in toyland/ pins
i felt sorry for every girl in this entire venue that could only dream of being as cool as kat bjelland.
27/06/15 - barbican london - boredoms
BORING
31/07/15 - the others stoke newington - the v-1's/deathsex bloodbath
NIGHTBUS TO COVENTRY
18/08/15 - 100 club london - pissed jeans/ ceremony
ceremony were trying waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy toooooooooooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13/09/15 - bristol exchange- melvins / big business
was gemma the only person in the whole venue who preferred big business ha.
30/10/15 - the others stoke newington- rude mechanicals/bad suburban nightmare/jane ruby/we are a communist
coolest looking drummer award goes to that guy whos name i forget from rude mechanicals
15/11/15 bullingdon oxford- brickwork lizards/ simon davies
FUCK NIGHTSHIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!
24/11/15 garage london- psychic tv.
they actually played this venue the previous night, if i was there i definitely wouldnt have come back for round 2.
AND SO NEXT YEAR , I'M STAYING IN.
Thursday, 1 January 2015
times i should have stayed at home 2014
25/01/2014 oxford wheatsheaf- gemma moss, molotov sexbomb definately glad i didnt stay at home this night.
01/02/2014 london electrowerkz - terminal cheesecake, gum takes tooth i remember something about terminal cheesecake being super lame live, maybe some light up gloves or something.
12/02/2014 london ace hotel basement- henry blacker, hag, shabash. probly the coolest thing to ever happen in this posh london hotel basement.
15/02/2014 london cafe oto- jandek , plus some support act with a name so shit it cannot be written down with normal letters.some people actually believe jandek is good, like the person who paid £30 for one of his shitty lps from me on ebay shortly after this gig when i decided i would never need to own this shite.
support act are smart enough to have a name that no one can remember or even type so therefore giving them a bad review is impossible.
12/03/2014 london st johns hackney - michael gira, william basinski. gira should start doing this stuff at open mic nights just for teh lulzzzzz.
22/03/14 - oxford wheatsheaf - gemma moss, headcount. some weird looking french guy eats his own shit on stage and finds out the hard way that no amount of mouthwash will take away the smell or the taste.
27/05/2014 birmingham rainbow- melt banana, glatze glatze obviously fears himself as pretty, so does everything he can to make himself retarded looking to all mankind.
28/05/2014 bristol trinity - swans. there are millions and millions of starzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in your eyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
21/06/2014 london electrowerkz. - chrome. should have stayed at home.
03/06/2014 oxford cellar- wonk unit, down and outs. yeh im a plasterer, i plaster, but i dont sing this song tonight just cus i want to annoy david.
26/07/2014 vinyl depford- rude mechanicals. depford would be a better place if the fast food places didnt lie about the spiceyness of their chicken burgers.
08/08/2014 oxford o2, - nofx didnt play "august 8th", WTF??????
21/09/2014, bristol exchange- king buzzo forgot his electric guitar and drummer and harshly hit an acoustic guitar as if it was strung with super slinkys.!!!!!!
04/10/2014, oxford jericho,- rabbit foot spazz band. i once saw someone play an electrical guitar co guitar on this stage, not tonight sadly.
19/11/2014 ,. london koko - einsturzende neu bauten. no one in the venue enjoyed this because everybody spent the entire night trying to find somewhere to stand .
22/11/2014 london the others- kuroneko, muscle bra, flesh happening, anarchistwood some guy got his bum out and jumped bum first into audience member , who nearly falls over and spills drink.
27/11/2014 oxford corridor- bandits, rail 27 the most surreal night in oxford and no one was there to view it.
07/12/2014 oxford o2 - alabama 3 synth player looks as happy to be there as i am.
12/12/2014 oxford wheatsheaf - non stop tango, volkenfunk volkenFUCK. einz , zwei, SEX,
16/12/2014, london cafe oto- j g thirlwells "cholera nocebo" autobahn.
19/12/2014 oxford o2 - rabbit foot spazz band to much use of the eff word for my liking.
01/02/2014 london electrowerkz - terminal cheesecake, gum takes tooth i remember something about terminal cheesecake being super lame live, maybe some light up gloves or something.
12/02/2014 london ace hotel basement- henry blacker, hag, shabash. probly the coolest thing to ever happen in this posh london hotel basement.
15/02/2014 london cafe oto- jandek , plus some support act with a name so shit it cannot be written down with normal letters.some people actually believe jandek is good, like the person who paid £30 for one of his shitty lps from me on ebay shortly after this gig when i decided i would never need to own this shite.
support act are smart enough to have a name that no one can remember or even type so therefore giving them a bad review is impossible.
12/03/2014 london st johns hackney - michael gira, william basinski. gira should start doing this stuff at open mic nights just for teh lulzzzzz.
22/03/14 - oxford wheatsheaf - gemma moss, headcount. some weird looking french guy eats his own shit on stage and finds out the hard way that no amount of mouthwash will take away the smell or the taste.
27/05/2014 birmingham rainbow- melt banana, glatze glatze obviously fears himself as pretty, so does everything he can to make himself retarded looking to all mankind.
28/05/2014 bristol trinity - swans. there are millions and millions of starzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in your eyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
21/06/2014 london electrowerkz. - chrome. should have stayed at home.
03/06/2014 oxford cellar- wonk unit, down and outs. yeh im a plasterer, i plaster, but i dont sing this song tonight just cus i want to annoy david.
26/07/2014 vinyl depford- rude mechanicals. depford would be a better place if the fast food places didnt lie about the spiceyness of their chicken burgers.
08/08/2014 oxford o2, - nofx didnt play "august 8th", WTF??????
21/09/2014, bristol exchange- king buzzo forgot his electric guitar and drummer and harshly hit an acoustic guitar as if it was strung with super slinkys.!!!!!!
04/10/2014, oxford jericho,- rabbit foot spazz band. i once saw someone play an electrical guitar co guitar on this stage, not tonight sadly.
19/11/2014 ,. london koko - einsturzende neu bauten. no one in the venue enjoyed this because everybody spent the entire night trying to find somewhere to stand .
22/11/2014 london the others- kuroneko, muscle bra, flesh happening, anarchistwood some guy got his bum out and jumped bum first into audience member , who nearly falls over and spills drink.
27/11/2014 oxford corridor- bandits, rail 27 the most surreal night in oxford and no one was there to view it.
07/12/2014 oxford o2 - alabama 3 synth player looks as happy to be there as i am.
12/12/2014 oxford wheatsheaf - non stop tango, volkenfunk volkenFUCK. einz , zwei, SEX,
16/12/2014, london cafe oto- j g thirlwells "cholera nocebo" autobahn.
19/12/2014 oxford o2 - rabbit foot spazz band to much use of the eff word for my liking.
Wednesday, 14 May 2014
Monday, 30 December 2013
i should've stayed at home.
10/01/13 -london cafe oto - skullflower +hal hutchinson was i the only one not annoyed that they only played for 30 minutes, this was great.
28/02/12 -london electrowerkz- ice age queens of the ice age.
13/03/13 - london hammersmith apollo - my bloody valentine + le volume courbe horrible big venue
15/03/13 -london corsica studios- onedia +vision fortune my least favourite small london venue due to being south of the river and shit for parking. i actually shat myself and thought my car had been stolen this night, turns out i was on the wrong level of a multi storey car park, thankfully i had clean pants in the car.
19/03/13- london garage- the men one member of this band is the man.
21/03/13-london cafe oto- cut hands + dalhous i made conversation with a stranger at this show
24/03/13 - oxford wheatsheaf - honky +desert storm + mother corona not only are desert storm my least favourite band in oxfordshire, they are my least favourite band of all bands EVER, total bullshit. i dont like honky either, but at least honky came on and did the dessert storm thing 10 times better and with a bit more humour. proof being a butthole surfer doesnt make everything you touch gold.
18/03/13 -oxford zodiac- the stranglers nothing but hits bitch nothing but hits
02/04/13 - brighton concorde - swans if you havent seen swans you are a fucking idiot.
18/04/13 - oxford zodiac- efterklang my second favourite danish band, right after junior senior.
19/04/13 - bristol thekla- pere ubu + variety lights i love pere ubu live, but what i dont love is tribute acts to the headline act, im talking to you variety lights
19/04/13 -bristol the croft- big naturals bass in yer face
20/04/13 - london o2 islington - kmfdm + sheep on drugs + explode the tv i looked everywhere and didnt see a single sheep.
22/04/13 - bristol exchange - melvins lite + big business blah blah blah
03/05/13- amsterdam bitterzoet- girls against boys lesson one kill the bass player
04/05/13 - utrecht ekko - girls against boys + new bleeders lesson two, kill the other bass player.
05/05/13- amsterdam paradiso - no spill blood + fang island some bassist that looks like that guy from karp
18/05/13 - london barbican- the residents iz everybody ready for the picnic in the jungle.
19/05/13 - london brixton electric- melvins blah
20/05/13 - london brixton electric - melvins bouncer violence f.t.w
21/05/13 - bristol exchange- melvins my rectum got ruptured this night, and not at the show.
23/05/13- london dingwalls- come + slowgun + former utopia 2 shitty support bands
01/06/13 - oxford wheatsheaf- caravan of whores+ moghul +iron hearse 3 shitty support bands
08/06/13- london forum- mudhoney +metz +meat puppets met a girl with the same beavis and butthead tattoos as me, proud to be different and all that shit yeh.
09/06/13- oxford zodiac- PIL + the wonder stuff i work with a girl the size of a cow.
16/06/13- london scala- pere ubu +uhuhboo project i met some dodgy guy from Coventry in the queue who only came to this show cus he was trying to pick up Korean fanny
19/06/13 london forum- the breeders metal mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
22/06/13 - london brixton acadamy -die fokken antwoord +zebra katz my zef clothes got fokken soaked
27/06/13 - reading sub89 - dinosaur jr+ the arteries i remember not liking the arteries and having trouble parking the car.
05/07/13- london electric ballroom- pissed jeans lets have some violence
08/07/13- london underworld- trash talk + asteroid boys lets have some more violence
11/07/13- london scala- nazoranai +flower/corsano duo. lets have some really boring guy from sunnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ruin another band.
12/07/13 - london barbican- john zorns 60th birthday hip hip
27/07/13 - london peckham bold tendencies - glenn branca "twisting in space" my car was literally parked inside the venue., the venue was a car park. we have a winner.
27/08/13 - amsterdam paradiso- tomahawk. another band ruined by mike patton
13/09/13 - amsterdam paradiso - white hills i prefer purple pills
14/09/13 - utrecht tivoli de helling- jesu + dirk serries microphonics holland only has 44 people with taste in music. FACT.
20/09/13- bristol exchange- black pus + dan friel + the hysterical injury one man bands rule i tell ye.
27/09/13 - london lso st lukes - lustmord + piano hooligan. one man bands suck i tell ye
07/10/13- london garage- man or astroman + the octopus project always a bit disappointing when the support band ends up being half the headline act.
09/10/13- oxford jericho- comanechi+ female smell + agness pike female smell would have been amazing if they didnt have some douche nozzle david yow impersonator for a frontman. i told them this. hopefully they take my constructive criticism seriously.
11/10/13- oxford jericho- no age no interest
12/10/13- london tufnell park dome- doa +sick on the bus turns out upon arrival in tufnell park i had gone through some sort of time machine and dumbass punks from 1977 were everywhere.
12/10/13- london corsica- prurient more punk than tufnell park??
02/11/13- germany slowboy record shop- die nerven + a newborn riot of dreams some american in germany trying to sell over priced records with controversial artwork.
04/11/13- amsterdam heineken music hall- nick cave and the bad seeds + shilpa ray the best part of this gig was when the support act shilpa ray came back on stage to sing the female vocal parts of henry lee. oh wait, thats what would have been the highlight if they had done that.
20/11/13- oxford wheatsheaf- honky + prosperina my favourite band ever "desert storm" were also on this line up but unfortunately i missed all of their set. but not to worry, honky invited the desert storm guys back on stage to perform with them for what had to be hands down the most cringy moment since records began.
snort that whiskey fuckerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
24/11/13- amsterdam winston- jarboe if jarboe was in a window in amsterdam, would i fuck her??
25/11/13- london netil house- porn + wolf eyes + follakzoid oh my god, this wolf eyes band are like so outrageous, can somebody please explain them to me.like, is this irony man, or are these guys really moronic
29/11/13- atp camber sands- eaux+ fuck buttons + shellac+ slint cus we
30/11/13- atp camber sands- dismemberment plan + fennesz+ the pop group
loop+ kandodo+ the kvb+ 23 skidoo + comets on fire are never ever ever
01/12/13- atp camber sands- michael rother+ superchunk+ goat+ mogwai+ josef van wissem
mick turner + girls against boys + braids + ty segall getting back together
15/12/13- london islingon o2 - young gods + die kur + inertia. inertia are proof that two men having anal sex with each other ISN'T the gayest thing in the world.
NEXT YEAR, IM STAYING IN.
28/02/12 -london electrowerkz- ice age queens of the ice age.
13/03/13 - london hammersmith apollo - my bloody valentine + le volume courbe horrible big venue
15/03/13 -london corsica studios- onedia +vision fortune my least favourite small london venue due to being south of the river and shit for parking. i actually shat myself and thought my car had been stolen this night, turns out i was on the wrong level of a multi storey car park, thankfully i had clean pants in the car.
19/03/13- london garage- the men one member of this band is the man.
21/03/13-london cafe oto- cut hands + dalhous i made conversation with a stranger at this show
24/03/13 - oxford wheatsheaf - honky +desert storm + mother corona not only are desert storm my least favourite band in oxfordshire, they are my least favourite band of all bands EVER, total bullshit. i dont like honky either, but at least honky came on and did the dessert storm thing 10 times better and with a bit more humour. proof being a butthole surfer doesnt make everything you touch gold.
18/03/13 -oxford zodiac- the stranglers nothing but hits bitch nothing but hits
02/04/13 - brighton concorde - swans if you havent seen swans you are a fucking idiot.
18/04/13 - oxford zodiac- efterklang my second favourite danish band, right after junior senior.
19/04/13 - bristol thekla- pere ubu + variety lights i love pere ubu live, but what i dont love is tribute acts to the headline act, im talking to you variety lights
19/04/13 -bristol the croft- big naturals bass in yer face
20/04/13 - london o2 islington - kmfdm + sheep on drugs + explode the tv i looked everywhere and didnt see a single sheep.
22/04/13 - bristol exchange - melvins lite + big business blah blah blah
03/05/13- amsterdam bitterzoet- girls against boys lesson one kill the bass player
04/05/13 - utrecht ekko - girls against boys + new bleeders lesson two, kill the other bass player.
05/05/13- amsterdam paradiso - no spill blood + fang island some bassist that looks like that guy from karp
18/05/13 - london barbican- the residents iz everybody ready for the picnic in the jungle.
19/05/13 - london brixton electric- melvins blah
20/05/13 - london brixton electric - melvins bouncer violence f.t.w
21/05/13 - bristol exchange- melvins my rectum got ruptured this night, and not at the show.
23/05/13- london dingwalls- come + slowgun + former utopia 2 shitty support bands
01/06/13 - oxford wheatsheaf- caravan of whores+ moghul +iron hearse 3 shitty support bands
08/06/13- london forum- mudhoney +metz +meat puppets met a girl with the same beavis and butthead tattoos as me, proud to be different and all that shit yeh.
09/06/13- oxford zodiac- PIL + the wonder stuff i work with a girl the size of a cow.
16/06/13- london scala- pere ubu +uhuhboo project i met some dodgy guy from Coventry in the queue who only came to this show cus he was trying to pick up Korean fanny
19/06/13 london forum- the breeders metal mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
22/06/13 - london brixton acadamy -die fokken antwoord +zebra katz my zef clothes got fokken soaked
27/06/13 - reading sub89 - dinosaur jr+ the arteries i remember not liking the arteries and having trouble parking the car.
05/07/13- london electric ballroom- pissed jeans lets have some violence
08/07/13- london underworld- trash talk + asteroid boys lets have some more violence
11/07/13- london scala- nazoranai +flower/corsano duo. lets have some really boring guy from sunnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ruin another band.
12/07/13 - london barbican- john zorns 60th birthday hip hip
27/07/13 - london peckham bold tendencies - glenn branca "twisting in space" my car was literally parked inside the venue., the venue was a car park. we have a winner.
27/08/13 - amsterdam paradiso- tomahawk. another band ruined by mike patton
13/09/13 - amsterdam paradiso - white hills i prefer purple pills
14/09/13 - utrecht tivoli de helling- jesu + dirk serries microphonics holland only has 44 people with taste in music. FACT.
20/09/13- bristol exchange- black pus + dan friel + the hysterical injury one man bands rule i tell ye.
27/09/13 - london lso st lukes - lustmord + piano hooligan. one man bands suck i tell ye
07/10/13- london garage- man or astroman + the octopus project always a bit disappointing when the support band ends up being half the headline act.
09/10/13- oxford jericho- comanechi+ female smell + agness pike female smell would have been amazing if they didnt have some douche nozzle david yow impersonator for a frontman. i told them this. hopefully they take my constructive criticism seriously.
11/10/13- oxford jericho- no age no interest
12/10/13- london tufnell park dome- doa +sick on the bus turns out upon arrival in tufnell park i had gone through some sort of time machine and dumbass punks from 1977 were everywhere.
12/10/13- london corsica- prurient more punk than tufnell park??
02/11/13- germany slowboy record shop- die nerven + a newborn riot of dreams some american in germany trying to sell over priced records with controversial artwork.
04/11/13- amsterdam heineken music hall- nick cave and the bad seeds + shilpa ray the best part of this gig was when the support act shilpa ray came back on stage to sing the female vocal parts of henry lee. oh wait, thats what would have been the highlight if they had done that.
20/11/13- oxford wheatsheaf- honky + prosperina my favourite band ever "desert storm" were also on this line up but unfortunately i missed all of their set. but not to worry, honky invited the desert storm guys back on stage to perform with them for what had to be hands down the most cringy moment since records began.
snort that whiskey fuckerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
24/11/13- amsterdam winston- jarboe if jarboe was in a window in amsterdam, would i fuck her??
25/11/13- london netil house- porn + wolf eyes + follakzoid oh my god, this wolf eyes band are like so outrageous, can somebody please explain them to me.like, is this irony man, or are these guys really moronic
29/11/13- atp camber sands- eaux+ fuck buttons + shellac+ slint cus we
30/11/13- atp camber sands- dismemberment plan + fennesz+ the pop group
loop+ kandodo+ the kvb+ 23 skidoo + comets on fire are never ever ever
01/12/13- atp camber sands- michael rother+ superchunk+ goat+ mogwai+ josef van wissem
mick turner + girls against boys + braids + ty segall getting back together
15/12/13- london islingon o2 - young gods + die kur + inertia. inertia are proof that two men having anal sex with each other ISN'T the gayest thing in the world.
NEXT YEAR, IM STAYING IN.
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